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When a relationship ends emptiness and doubts invade our minds. Mourning time can become endless, this is the moment to do something and learn that everything can be forgotten. But in order to do that we need attitude, a lot of attitude and desire for things to change. Going to a therapist, trying some activities or distracting our minds won't work if by the end of the day we end up crying looking at his/her picture remembering your time together knowing that it won't come back.
In this case we get a lot of advices to keep in mind, the ones from our friends, relatives, and well known people, who probably have been through this and now they tell their experience like an obsolete past. If they could do it, so can you... nobody dies from love, and that is the truth that we all have to assimilate.
If the relationship is over, it's reasonable that we spend our days crying all around the house without wanting to do anything but remember. Every picture, smell, TV program or food reminds you of her or him. Mourning time is inevitable and necessary. But everything has a limit and if things don't change after weeks then it's time to wake up.
To forget your ex you just need one thing, attitude...and get to work. Here we have some advices.
Get rid of the memories:
There's no need to burn all of your photos, letters, cloth, and all of the things that remain at your house (although if you can, it'll be a big step) you do need to keep everything out of your sight. Put everything in a box with some locks to avoid temptation and they don't get in your way while you are at home. Each thing that could bring out memories of your ex must be eliminated; at least until you move on...and maybe when that happens you won't care about those things anymore.
Do some activities:
Our mind is always working, if you give it too much time it could lead you to unwanted images or feelings. Being in the state of trying to forget, is very important to keep ourselves busy doing things that we like without looking back.
Try physical activities, some sport, go to the gym, go swimming, go jogging o just walk watching windows. Buy something to yourself. Self-esteem starts lacking when a relationship ends and anything that could helps us feel good feeds our undernourished body
Attack the memories:
At any time you could be weak and start to be invaded by memories of your ex. So, when this happens, instead of remembering the good things, remember the bad ones. Remember that time that he/she yell at you, that you fought about meaningless things, your different ways of thinking, or when he/she make a fuss because you were late. The important thing is to remember the moments that we felt really bad during our relationship, to avoid to glorify and idealize it. Sometimes when we miss some things we forget the bad things. Now that we are on the other side, the negative can become positive.
Write in a paper sheet all the bad things that you've been through and that you didn't like of your ex, and all the things that you want to yell at his face. Without holding anything, the important thing is to rescue the negative things to make them positive.
Then, write all the good things of breaking up with him. The chance to do things that you couldn't do before, free time, lack of responsibilities and commitment, etc.
After writing the good things and the bad things, read it every night before you go to sleep.
Every day you can add more things that you remember to make the list bigger. In this way we will read and remember every day the bad things that happened, and the good things of breaking up. Mind works like a muscle, you have to exercise it so it'll be stronger and the best way to do it in this case is with positive thoughts.
One nail drives out another
It seems like a used phrase but it could work if you want to forget your ex. If you have the chance, sleep with somebody else. You will erase from your body the last memory of your ex and you'll know that there are lots of men/women waiting for you. This advice is not for everybody, if you are a relationship type person you should not do it. It's a matter of values and ways of thinking. Although men take this advice literally.
Check your agenda
Probably your last relationship required so much time that you didn't have time to see your friends. Well, it's time to get them back. Check your agenda and call them, plan a date if they aren't mad at you by ditching them for your ex. If they are, it's time to say sorry and explain them that you need their help, the only thing you need is to party and have fun.
Try to clear your mind, socialize, leave the tears at home and meet new people, new environments, places and different people to forget of your unwanted past.
It's important to avoid common places with your ex. If you know in which places he/she hangs out, avoid them with attitude and confidence. If someone invites you to some place where you know that your ex could be, or even his/her friends, don't go, change the date or the place. The reason for the change it's more than enough to make your friends understand this and they accept going somewhere else.
Enjoy your freedom:
It's time to do all the things that you couldn't do because you were with your ex. Watch the movies that she/he didn't like, read a book, register in that subject that you always wanted to take, visit that friend that make your ex jealous, install that violent videogame in your computer or watch the TV program that he dislike, "Sex and the City". Enjoy your freedom and use that free time to do the things that you couldn't do because you wanted to be with him/her.
No contact:
Avoid getting in touch with your ex. You must erase yourself from the map and make sure he/she does too. If he/she calls you, don't pick up, tell him/her you want no contact. Don't try to recover the things that you left at his/her place. If you want a diamond ring, a plasma TV or something that really worth it, send some friend or relative that do it for you. Any meeting with your ex can make you go backwards.
New relationship, new history:
If you are lucky and you start a new relationship, avoid comparisons. Analyzing every move or idea of your new partner with your ex won't work. It is unfair because each relationship is unique and unrepeatable. Couple's chemistry opens the relationship in different ways and only with time and more trust you will get a share world.
As we say at the beginning, to forget your ex you just need attitude and predisposition. Sometimes it will be really hard. Sometimes we will feel like there's no way out and other times we will feel renew. Little by little we'll find balance until one day we'll wake up with a smile and we'll know that finally we have forgotten.
It's up to us and it's about perseverance and predisposition. Of course, if after some time things don't change and we continue under deep depression, is important to get professional help.
